"3:00 AM and I am awake with more questions than answers.."~priest

I am suppose to be sleeping.  I am not sleeping.  Why is that? 

I feel depressed.  How can that be? I am a believer.  My God promises to supply all my needs, yet I am up at 3:00 AM feeling depressed. 

I suspect many of you are with me in feeling depressed.  Life did not turn out the way you planned.  You did your best, but it seems like your best was not good enough.  

My recent adventure with being diagnosed with a possible brain tumor, helped push me over the edge emotionally.  I was already on the edge.  The diagnosis just kicked me in the butt and pushed me over.  I am still tumbling, but I have a plan and it is really quite simple. 

I am going to start a new life.  I am going to ditch those things that bring negative influences on me and grab hold of those things that bring positive influences.  

First things first.  I am going to return to my 1st love: my love for Jesus.  Andrew Murray explains it like this...

"IT IS to you who have heard and hearkened to the call, “Come unto me,” that this new invitation comes, “Abide in me.” The message comes from the same loving Saviour. You doubtless have never repented having come at His call. You experienced that His word was truth; all His promises He fulfilled; He made you partakers of the blessings and the joy of His love. Was not His welcome most hearty, His pardon full and free, His love most sweet and precious? You more than once, at your first coming to Him, had reason to say, “The half was not told me.”

And yet you have had to complain of disappointment: as time went on, your expectations were not realized. The blessings you once enjoyed were lost; the love and joy of your first meeting with your Saviour, instead of deepening, have become faint and feeble. And often you have wondered what the reason could be, that with such a Saviour, so mighty and so loving, your experience of salvation should not have been a fuller one.

The answer is very simple. You wandered from Him. "~Andrew Murray  excerpt from ALL YOU WHO HAVE COME TO HIM

The next thing I am purposed to do is return to my 2nd love: my love for Cora.  Outside of Jesus, she is the most positive influence in my life.  She has incredible wisdom.  She is strong.  She loves me deeply.  She loves Jesus and encourages others with that love daily.  I will be the husband God designed for her with a love that only can come from Jesus.

Closely following my love for Jesus and Cora: I purpose to share in the love of friends and family.  I will encourage them with my love and bask in their love.  I will look for specific ways to bring a smile to their face, but I will choose to smile first.  My love of friends will extend to "the least of these".

Lastly, I will turn to you and appreciate the friendship of those that read this blog.  You are an encouragement.  You are steadfast friends in times of trouble.  Thank you.  

Of special note: Ichabod is a blog friend from Canada.  Ich has experienced much of life just like me.  Life has not always been kind, yet he chooses to be an encourager.  We don't always agree on Jesus and the things of the faith, yet he encourages me.  I pray I might be an encouragement to him.  I find it interesting despite our differences, he chooses to encourage me.  Thank you, Robert.  

So, it is now 4:37 AM and I think I will ponder on these things while drifting back to sleep for an hour or so.... 

Lest I forget to say: "I will avoid those things that tend to steal my joy." ~the priest

Posted via email from Archie's Life Stream