A collection of funny stuff... Just in case I ever end up back at Maverick County Jail, I just want
to say for the record, "The guards at MCJ are great people! I was
treated respectfully and with kindness." One guy that "roomed" with
me liked it so much, he bailed out one day and came back two days
later. Obviously his visit back was unplanned. Federico and I traveled to California and back by bus chasing God
Spots. He had time to train me in proper prison survival technique.
Little did I know, he was preparing me for my next big adventure. He
said, "don't eat the food in the holding cell". Obviously, he spoke
from experience. I kept my indulgence to a minimum. I ate what
wasn't prepared there, although my cell mates seemed to like it. A
biscuit for breakfast, chips for lunch and tortillas for supper. I'm told you can make cool stuff out of toilet paper. One guy tried
to teach me how to make toilet paper flowers. He had forgotten some
of the key twists he had learned from the last time he was locked up.
We also didn't have the crayon to create the special coloring to make
it really pretty. :) Toilets in a holding cell can really flush! Sometimes I flushed it an
extra time just for added enjoyment. It also quieted the LOUD
hammering pipes that screamed all night long. I pretended it was the
sound of angel trumpets. Really! After throwing away two styrofoam cups, the guard was hacked because I
didn't have a cup for punch. I didn't know you had to keep your cup
for the next meal. I said, "sorry". I was new here and would try to
do better. Same thing on the spoon. Don't throw it away, you need it for the
next meal. The joke was on them. I tossed the spoon. I didn't eat
the next meal. Ha! You are authorized to request a Bible. It doesn't matter how many
times you ask for a Bible or that you are authorized a Bible. You
won't get one. It's not that they refuse. They readily agree to get
you a Bible, it just never shows up. The darth vador helmets hanging on the wall outside the cell are
really cool looking, but they wouldn't let me try one on. You are required to take a daily shower. You don't have a shower in
your cell and they ignor your requests to shower. But that doesn't
negate the requirements. Coolness is walking in shoes with no shoe laces. They took mine. I
suspect they thought I was ready to hang myself. If you repeatably ask for a Bible, someone will inevitably ask how
long it takes to become a priest. It's not nice to kick a priest. I think you may be able to go to hell for that. I'm laughing. Hopefully, you are. :) Surf to: http://www.1stchurch.org/GetFacebook.html
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