Mike Xpietoe Pollie Transparently Shares Life - unedited real life

From: michael pollie <swansonjohnsonjr@gmail.com>
Date: Tue, Feb 16, 2010 at 7:50 PM
Subject: mike xpietoe pollie
To: 37stories@gmail.com

Well i was asked to give the full tilt version of my story by my friend archie so here i am. Please excuse the grammar and punctuation as when i write a though i think so quick sometimes that i just want to let the Spirit take it over and let it ride like i was just talking and when i change it then the thought never seems the same. So here i go im just gonna let it fly. I grew up in central NY in the sticks in a highly disfunctional broken home of sex drugs and alcohol. It was actually common for me to see porn with my dad and his friends when i was really young. Probably needless to say i grew up desiring sexual pleasure as not just a means to an end but actually as an end in itself. But thats just the early years. Later it turned into other things as well. But back to the sex thing. I first had my known sexual encounter at about seven when my dads friends daughter and sister would come "babysit". we would play strip poker and truth or dare (usually dare) and spin the bottle and other strange sex games. So at some point this started to just be normal. Some may say "oh well you were abused". But in all honesty i wanted it. It felt good and its all i knew i guess and i would be willing to bet that it was the same for them. I had no mom and they had no dad so we were filling eachothers needs in that group of "friends" i hung out with. Strange days those were and even stranger when i was in school and realised that all the other kids werent into what i was into (for the most part). Kids know a lot more than most adults want to admit (at least in my town they did). So this was a theme from early on in my life.

 

Along this journey i started experimenting with "innocent" things like cigarettes and alcohol at around the same time but didnt really get into smoking and drinking until i was about 13. By 15 i was addicted to drugs alcohol and sex like there was no tomorrow by 16 i couldnt stay out of jail. On top of the sex drugs and alcohol i couldnt seem to keep my hands off of things that werent mine. In other words i was a cleptomaniac. This didnt help the jail thing. Most of my jail time was over really petty stupid things but they were all theft drug or alcohol related.

 

Fast forward to 25 years old and heavy into crack/cocaine addiction. I started out by just doing a little here and doing a little there and then doing a lot here and there and eventually i stopped being an alcoholic because i was always smoking crack. By 26 i was just robbing everyone and anyone i knew. Also i started actually having sex with men for crack. This was the lowest of lows and even though i had dabbled with this man on man thing in the past it was never like this and was just because of my sex addiction not because of attraction so this was strange for me but i needed the crack so i did what i had to do to get it. There arent many stores to rob or people to bum money off of at 2 in the morning. So anyways for about 3 strong years i just did what i needed to do to get crack. When you are in deep (and i met people 20 years strong into crack addiction) you actually have to smoke crack every day and you have to smoke a lot of it or its not worth it. When its 5 in the morning and you got to work at 6 you dont care because you need a hit of crack. I didnt sleep anymore. I passed out. So after i had robbed all my family and all my dealers and all of everyone i could rob i decided that i would hitch out to the west coast. So i did. I hitched from VA to CA in 40 DAYS. I would later learn the signifigance.

 

I dont want to glorify or bore too much with the same info over and over again but lets just say i went throught many crazy things and finally made it to cali. When i made it there i immediately found a way to get, you guessed it, crack. So i got the hook up (and some food stamps because i was part of the problem). So there i am in cali and for about two weeks i just smoked crack in venice beach and santa monica and in what they call "ghost-town" and belive me i am blessed and spared by God alone to be alive. Not that LA is any worse than the rest of the US as i found out. Its all the same just different politics. So after two weeks of doing the same ol pimpin hookin and lyin cheatin stealin something happens that i never expected. To fully explain this i have to give a brief background on my "church-life". My church-life consisted of pretty much never going to church as a kid and when i did go to church it was when i was older and homeless. While homeless i slept in a lot of different churches through programs and missions and stuff like that. I also slept in outhouses and abandoned buildings and on the side of the highway. Not too glamorous to say the least. I really dont enjoy sex with men for money but worse than that was sleeping in outhouses because until you take a shower and change you smell like......well.......yeah. So back to the church thing. I pretty much used churches as my get dry get cleaned up and get food and money place. There were a few places in my life during this time of "church-hopping" that i actually felt bad about my sin and lifestyle but not enough to really do anything about it. So, back to the "something happens" part of my story. One night after smoking about 100 dollars of crack and not being able to get high i decide to go find somewhere to sleep. The is a mission right outside of santa monica and i went there to try to get in but they were full. I dont know where it was or how i got there but i turned around and went back into santa monica toward the beach. I saw some people coming out of a restaurant and asked if i could have the leftovers i saw them carrying (i was pretty bold,still am). So the people gave me their leftovers and i went down to the santa monica pier and ate some leftovers and curled up with an american flag i found under there (because i was the picutre of america at this point lol). Then out of the blue i woke up the next day. I say out of the blue because i woke up like i was surprised to be homeless. But right then i heard something that i have never heard and only knew it was real later. I heard God speaking to me. When i read the story of samuel as a kid hearing Gods voice i think of this moment. God was calling. "Come and get Me" is what He was saying. I didnt know why or what was going on but i know i needed to follow the voice. Some might dismiss this as me detoxing from crack but from experience with that i can say that wasnt the case. So off i go to find "the voice". In my heart i knew it was God and not only God but actually could feel that it was Christ. I started wandering around santa monica asking everyone where i could find a christian ministry because i needed to find God. I knew what i needed though i didnt really know God yet. I was kind of like samuel going back and forth to eli. I even went and knocked on a cops window which was not my regular thing to do since i tried my best to avoid them like the plague. The cop pointed me to a place called the clare foundation and that place didnt have a bed for the night. They gave me a bag lunch and a couple bus tokens (which i sold thinking i could get crack with them) and told me to go to a place called the bible tabernacle. When i realized i couldnt get any crack i went to the bible tabernacle and got a bed for the night. I got there and hung out talking about how i couldnt believe in the bible or God because of all the contradictions in it. The man who ran the house i was at (there were a bunch of houses) just sat and listened to me and understood my misunderstanding of God and His Word without denying how hard it was to reconcile the bible and just talked with me. I think thats what kept me talking with him. The next morning when i woke up we had a choice to read the bible (or just sit with it open and awake) and then go eat breakfast and get lunch or we could leave before bible reading and just get a bag lunch. I was pretty hungry and curious still as to what it was God was trying to say to me. After the bible reading and prayer and before the breakfast, the main house guy told me about a "program" that they had in a place called canyon country in northern LA county up in the hills. I was tired and needed to know what God wanted so i decided to try this route and find out if this was what God was trying to say. So i accepted and went to the ministry up in the boonies. I was there for a while and i wont talk of all the stuff in the ministry but we read the Word every morning and had to look up and write a list of memory verses to stay at the ministry. That and work daily was all we had to do. They gave us a week to relax and write the memory verses and detox as well because the majority of people that came in were drug users. After about a month and a half of being there and reading and writing the verses we had to look up i actually started understanding the bible a little and not just making up my own blind perceptions based on others interpretations and/or out of context misinterpretations. Well one day i broke down totally and just had a knock down drag out fight with God cursing Him out and just trying my hardest to fight with my brain to deny the fact that the one i was arguing with was even real. To this i now laugh just realizing how hard i fought to not believe in something i didnt believe. It now seems so hard to even imagine that i used to think i was an atheist. After this argument and many tears and sorrow for my sins and understanding that i needed Jesus and my life was feeble and i only had one thing left to do in my soul and that was to give up and give my life to Christ. Thats how it happened for me and from that day on God has not ceased to amaze me and show me that i am now His and even when i fall and fail i am still His because of what He did for me by becoming a man and taking my punishment on the cross and allowing me to take on His righteousness. Praise Glory and Honor be the the One and only True Lord God and Savior Jesus Christ.

 

Well now God just leads me daily and i have so many testimonies but this is just the beginning of the best of my life =D

Posted via email from Archie's Life Stream